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If you are interested in firing up someone's mind without making it plain that you are trying to control them, you have to learn the technique of persuasion - but also to pay attention to its counterpart: manipulation.
When we are interested in making someone think as we do, we need to make sure that that person doesn't feel that they are under our control. There is, as you may know, a thin line between these two things: persuasion and manipulation. You need to concentrate on the first and avoid the latter.
In order to successfully persuade someone, we need to sway them to do something for us. But manipulation involves trickery in accomplishing this goal, therefore, it should be avoided.
What differentiates persuasion from manipulation resides in a person's motivation. If you are an honest person using honest schemes, you are not going to be seen as being manipulative.
The following ideas show you ways of persuasion by avoiding those of manipulation. First, know what you need, and then express this want honestly. Be open about your desires or goals. Know what you want, too, otherwise you won't be able to speak your mind plainly.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you need, that this would make you contented. They'll get the message.
Second, did you know that your friends and relatives tend to echo your own values? Yes, if you are charitable, for example, they'll be generous, too.
Learn to see the distinction between a need or a want when you listen to friends or relatives. See what it is that you could do in order to help them. Then when it will be your turn to need something, they are more likely to step up and helpl you in turn.
Be sure you don't come across as the type of person that always needs something. If you socialize with your friends by sharing your abilities with them, you are doing the right thing. And you create agreeable relationships by being simply yourself and not someone else.
Third, employing the good word or sharing good deeds with others will also stand you in good stead. Don't think that your gifts will not be appreciated.
If you are always displeased when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you value the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
So avoid being the sort of person who is always dissatisfied. This way you are never going to be any fun and people will perceive you as selfish and won't ever give you any nice words of appreciation. So when someone gives you a bequest or does you a favor, be sure to thank them for it, make sure they know that you value what they gave you or have done for you. Showing yourself as appreciative will go a long way in showing you in a bright light.
Though life is not always a bowl of cherries, it's fine to have people on our side when we are overwhelmed by the stresses of work or feel depressed or tired. If such conditions make your friends hesitant in your presence to see what they can do for you, get out of the way for the time being. But do call your friends or send them an e-mail rather than try to keep them attached to you in times that are trying.
Life isn't always smooth sailing. Most of the time we are pressured, distressed, exhausted or just too despondent, but a warm touch or a nice gesture will suddenly make it all worth while. But when you are in a real down-time, you should stay away form people. Though it's a good idea to pick up the phone or send an instant message so people know you are still there but just don't want to annoy them with your problems.
So the techniques we discuss here are the basics of persuasion that show you how to articulate your needs or wants. Human nature is twofold: we desire to help others, even as we want others to help us.
The only way to get assistance or to provide it is to discern what's needed or wanted. Just make sure that you don't abuse people or let them abuse you.
The only way to get or to give help is to formulate your needs or wants. But do make certain that you are neither used no abused. Just get to know the techniques of persuasion - you will be able to fire up someone's mind and get lots of friends and expand your world without becoming a cry-baby.
When we are interested in making someone think as we do, we need to make sure that that person doesn't feel that they are under our control. There is, as you may know, a thin line between these two things: persuasion and manipulation. You need to concentrate on the first and avoid the latter.
In order to successfully persuade someone, we need to sway them to do something for us. But manipulation involves trickery in accomplishing this goal, therefore, it should be avoided.
What differentiates persuasion from manipulation resides in a person's motivation. If you are an honest person using honest schemes, you are not going to be seen as being manipulative.
The following ideas show you ways of persuasion by avoiding those of manipulation. First, know what you need, and then express this want honestly. Be open about your desires or goals. Know what you want, too, otherwise you won't be able to speak your mind plainly.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you need, that this would make you contented. They'll get the message.
Second, did you know that your friends and relatives tend to echo your own values? Yes, if you are charitable, for example, they'll be generous, too.
Learn to see the distinction between a need or a want when you listen to friends or relatives. See what it is that you could do in order to help them. Then when it will be your turn to need something, they are more likely to step up and helpl you in turn.
Be sure you don't come across as the type of person that always needs something. If you socialize with your friends by sharing your abilities with them, you are doing the right thing. And you create agreeable relationships by being simply yourself and not someone else.
Third, employing the good word or sharing good deeds with others will also stand you in good stead. Don't think that your gifts will not be appreciated.
If you are always displeased when things don't go the way you want them to go, you won't be the fun person who is perceived as unselfish and therefore deserving of appreciation. So if anyone ever does something for you or gives you a gift, say "thank you" to show that you value the gesture. This will show that you are capable of gratitude, and this will go a long way in your favor.
So avoid being the sort of person who is always dissatisfied. This way you are never going to be any fun and people will perceive you as selfish and won't ever give you any nice words of appreciation. So when someone gives you a bequest or does you a favor, be sure to thank them for it, make sure they know that you value what they gave you or have done for you. Showing yourself as appreciative will go a long way in showing you in a bright light.
Though life is not always a bowl of cherries, it's fine to have people on our side when we are overwhelmed by the stresses of work or feel depressed or tired. If such conditions make your friends hesitant in your presence to see what they can do for you, get out of the way for the time being. But do call your friends or send them an e-mail rather than try to keep them attached to you in times that are trying.
Life isn't always smooth sailing. Most of the time we are pressured, distressed, exhausted or just too despondent, but a warm touch or a nice gesture will suddenly make it all worth while. But when you are in a real down-time, you should stay away form people. Though it's a good idea to pick up the phone or send an instant message so people know you are still there but just don't want to annoy them with your problems.
So the techniques we discuss here are the basics of persuasion that show you how to articulate your needs or wants. Human nature is twofold: we desire to help others, even as we want others to help us.
The only way to get assistance or to provide it is to discern what's needed or wanted. Just make sure that you don't abuse people or let them abuse you.
The only way to get or to give help is to formulate your needs or wants. But do make certain that you are neither used no abused. Just get to know the techniques of persuasion - you will be able to fire up someone's mind and get lots of friends and expand your world without becoming a cry-baby.
About the Author:
Learn more about Mastering The Art Of Persuasion, at The Art Of Persuasion and claim your Free Special Report which is just packed full of related articles. To find a number of different articles on the subject they can be found at http://persuasiontechniques.org.
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