Saturday, May 28, 2011

What should you do with your apartments and real estate in Rio de Janeiro if crop circles commence to appear?

By Ronaldo Gaucho


When you start reading this document I have some very careful instructions for you. Immediately go into your kitchen in order to find some aluminum foil. All apartments ought to be stocked with this very important supply. If you can't find any in the kitchen, just go to the local Rio de Janeiro grocery store and you really are sure to find some for sale. Do that now. I'm waiting.

Okay, you have the aluminum foil? Now wrap it around your head but in the end make a long stick of aluminum foil off the surface of your head. The taller the better. This keeps them from controlling you. Okay, now that that's been completed, you ought to go to the penthouse level of your building, it will give you the best reception and it will allow you to evade the mind reading waves. This piece of real estate is the best place for you at the moment.

Now that you have taken the necessary safeguards, you should now know that even though you've made the determination to seek out apartments that are in Rio de Janeiro, this kind of real estate is no longer protected. Historically, from the time of Hollywood's creation, it has been documented that aliens only go to the United States and they only speak English. Unfortunately, because Brazil is becoming a larger participant on the world stage, they are also starting to attract aliens and an invasion could be imminent. Before long, your penthouse looking over Copacabana and Ipanema could be overrun with the bald green skinned rascals. You've been warned.

So how will you defend yourself from the alien invasion of Rio de Janeiro? Well fortunately knowledge is power, and now you know. You were fortunate enough to find some aluminum foil for sale, but you can't just let yourself be the sole person to know. That would be self-centered. You need to start distributing this information. So right away, at this moment, you should go and run through the streets of Copacabana and Ipanema screaming, "Aliens are coming!"

It's very important that you do this. The aliens aren't here on holiday. They didn't travel here for a vacation. They came here for a very precise piece of real estate, Earth. Sadly, our apartments are located here, so we all have a stake in this. Last time I checked, we didn't put the Earth up for sale.




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